xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' World Toddler: Island of the Single White Female

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Friday, April 29, 2016

Island of the Single White Female



Bali is an Indonesian island of incredible biodiversity. In one day you can have your sunglasses stolen by a monkey, sing a song with a Black Naped Fruit Dove, and chase a lizard out of your bed.



Many of these Balinese animals are endangered. One species that has grown in population while others face extinction? the SWF.
SWFs were first spotted on the Balinese shores in the late 2000s after Julia Roberts ate, prayed, and loved in an international blockbuster, in which it is repeatedly said that “everyone has a little love affair in Bali.” SWFs heard this mating call and have flocked to the tropical island ever since.





Tall, bipedal mammals, SWFs migrate primarily from Australia, Germany, and Canada during the holiday season or whenever Qantas is running a deal. Although most SWFs are skinny and blonde, a brunette was recently spotted in Seminyak munching on a kale chip and reading the Bhagavad Gita. The beaches of Southern Bali offer the easiest SWF-watching, where five-star resorts block the glare of authentic local culture. In Ubud, one must visit the city center to find SWFs in their natural habitat. Here, their sarongs billow as they go from handicraft market to vegan café, often sporting yoga mats on their backs.
SWFs in their Natural Habitat: Raw-Food Café in Ubud




As the number of SWFs has grown, the male population has dwindled, leaving only surfers and the occasional frat boy with whom SWFs can mate. So SWFs are often found sitting alone with their raw foods and novels, or mingling on the beach with other of their kind.

It is possible that SWFs will soon realize that their over-population has sent the "Balinese Fling" into extinction, and they will have to go elsewhere to find love. Or perhaps Bali will forever remain the island of the single white woman.
A thing of the past?

1 comment:

  1. This is so funny. Oh my. Don't think I could handle an island of SWFs. Rather have the lizard in the bed or the monkeys. Aunty Barb

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